"Don't confuse that Roadblock with this Roadblock."
Everyone knows what a wingman is right? If you don't...well, that's just weird, but still, here...
A wingman is any person that helps you in most types of bar situations (usually involving a girl).
Typically, a wingman will distract or hit-on a girl
that is acting as a roadblock to the girl you're interested in. Usually, this roadblock is very ugly or mean or something is
wrong with her, enough so that she will be known as "Roadblock" (not to be confused with Roadblock from GI Joe). Wingman
are also useful in fights or dragging you home when you are piss drunk. Maxim just came out with a decent story about
the role of a wingman: Maxim's Wingman Training
Manual.
A usual wingman scenario involves 4 characters:
1. You
2. Wingman
3. Hottie
4. Roadblock
Let's say You is really interested in Hottie. The problem is that her friend, Roadblock, looks very mean and surly and stands in
your way. So you talk to Wingman, who knows his role, and the two of you go up to Hottie and Roadblock. If things work out,
you go home with Hottie or get her number and Roadblock is out of the picture thanks to Wingman.
"You can be my wingman anytime."
This time-tested approach is great, but a lot of things could happen that could alter the outcome. The Standard Wingman
Approach could fail for a number of reason...
a. Despite your wingman's best efforts, he may not be able to distract Roadblock or
b. Hottie likes to reject guys, or worse
c. Hottie likes to reject guys after guys buy her a couple drinks
Remember the original cast? Well, here's some more description about two of the cast members.
3. Hottie: Very hot girl. Probably always was hot and is possibly very mean. She's used to getting hit on in bars and can
easily reject guys with ease although she does like the attention. Typically hangs out with girls not as attractive as her
so she looks that much better.
4a. Roadblock-A: This girl can be hot or not, but her distinguishing characteristic is that she runs defense for the Hottie.
She will pull the Hottie away from you, or can be just plain rude. This girl is not friendly and hates it when guys hit on her
friend.
4b. Roadblock-B: This girl is not attractive. She may be considered pretty (unlikely) if it wasn't for the fact that she's
hanging out with a really hot girl (who is probably a lifelong friend or another type of friend hoping for some attention
left-overs).
The Wingman Revolution can work in both circumstances.
"No, you can be mine."
flashback...2 days ago...
So I was hanging out with Tina and Sergio, two of my friends, and we went to Beaver Canyon (the best girl watching place
in downtown Chicago - name courtesy of my friends Bob and Devon) to rate girls. Although Tina
looks like a girl and even does girly things sometimes, she's really a guy at heart. So, we were talking about how Sergio
doesn't think any girls like him, when they are practically falling all over him and how I think every girl likes me but in
reality they treat me like radioactive waste. So Sergio and I have this idea that we should hang out because then girls will
actually talk to me (due to Sergio) and he will notice when girls like him (thanks to me). This led to the wingman
conversation which led to the birth of the revolution in the Wingman approach.
Why is it that You has to take the lead? Instead send in Wingman to go after Roadblock. No. That's not a typo.
SEND IN WINGMAN TO GO AFTER ROADBLOCK. Insane you say? Keep reading.
"I think we found a weakness in their defenses."
Sending Wingman after Roadblock accomplishes two things. First, a) Roadblock who typically exerts all of her mental and physical
energy to stop guys from scoring with her friend Hottie is now off balance because someone is approaching her and not her friend.
Startled by this sudden attention, her defenses shut down. The equivalent of two proton torpedoes getting shot into the exhaust
port of the Death Star. b) Hottie, who by now has seen Wingman approaching her and Roadblock, already expected Wingman to hit on
her. When Wingman hits on Roadblock instead of her, this sends Hottie's world into a tailspin. She's now thinking the worst,
"Why is he hitting on her, not me? Am I losing my looks? What's wrong with me." She's not getting the normal attention she
typically gets and worse, her friend is getting it.
Now it your turn to move. See at this point, Hottie's self esteem has gone from a typical 95/100 to 5/100. She will crave
any attention and won't turn any of it down. Your chances of scoring have now skyrocketed. Furthermore, you can now hit on
Hottie and not worry about Roadblock running coverage.
A plan so fiendishly clever in its simplicity.
So the next time you and your friend(s) are at a bar and you feel like hitting on some girl but you need a wingman, consider
the Wingman Revolution strategy instead of the normal approach...unless you're Sergio, in which case you don't need a wingman,
just a stick to beat away all the girls.
