jayble's stable

Ten Year

October 15, 2004


	"They all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they've all made themselves a part of something and they can talk about what they do. What am I gonna say? "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How've you been?"

My ten year high school reunion was last weekend. I guess two weekends ago, technically. I was somewhat on the fence about going. At times I really wanted to go and other times I just thought I'd skip the whole thing. I flipped through my yearbook a month or two before and I was surprised at how few names and faces I recognized. I thought I'd recognize a lot of the people or at least names...wrong.

High school reunions are a funny thing, especially the 10 year (not that I'd know about any other year, since there was no 5 year reunion, from what I remember). From what (older) people have told me, the 10 year reunion is the one where you'll have the biggest chance of running into people that are trying to prove that they made it...to anyone. At the 5 year everyone is kind of still just starting out, just finishing college, starting jobs. etc. At the 15 year, most people are probably married, and by 20 year, I expect everyone to have kids and busy with day-to-day life.

So at the 10 year, I think most people in a h.s. reunion situation fall into one of three categories:
    (a) People that were accepted and popular and really enjoyed high school
    (b) People that were not accepted and really hated high school
    (c) People that were in between, not cool and ultra hip but not picked on either


	Marty : Why are you so interested in me going to my high school reunion? Marcella : I just find it amusing that you came from somewhere.

I know those categories are very broad and the third one is a catch all but I still think it works. In fact, most people probably fit into the third category. I also think that in each of these categories there are going to be four attitudes towards the reunion:
    (1) No way am I going, I'm above all those people now.
    (2) I am going to go and show all those people that I'm somebody.
    (3) I am going to relive my high school days.
    (4) I am just going to go and have good time and see what people are up to.

I wasn't worried about the type 1 people since they probably wouldn't even show up at the reunion. The type 2 and 3 people are what made me apprehensive.

High school reunions in general are interesting because I don't think anyone that attends wants to be thought of as the person they were in high school, which is such a huge double standard because that's the way you will view everyone you see there. I know I felt that way. It's like all the inadequacies or inferiority (or superiority) complexes people felt then come back in seconds, and that's a hard thing to reconcile with the person you are today.

So with all my apprehension and excitement, I still went through with it. I knew a handful of people going (only about 10) which was good considering I only kept in touch with three people from high school, only three people who I'd call a friend anyways. Everyone else is an acquaintance at best.


	"Hi. I'm, uh, I'm a pet psychiatrist. I sell couch insurance. Mm-hmm, and I - and I test-market positive thinking. I lead a weekend men's group, we specialize in ritual killings. Yeah, you look great! God, yeah! Hi, how are you? Hi, how are you? Hi, I'm Martin Blank, you remember me? I'm not married, I don't have any kids, and I'd blow your head off if someone paid me enough."

I pulled up to the banquet hall and sat in the parking lot for what felt like an hour but was actually only about two minutes. For those two minutes I might as well have been in high school because that's the way I saw myself. But after those two minutes, everything was fine. I walked in prepared to handle the type 2 and 3 people who would no doubt find me. On top of that, I didn't know what to expect from a couple people with who I've had falling-outs with over the last 10(+) years.

I don't know if our reunion was different or maybe I was just lucky, but everyone at the reunion had a type 4 attitude. Every single person I talked to seemed genuinely happy to be at the reunion, see everyone, with no pride or prejudice. I also approached everyone with the same attitude.

Our high school, like everyone high school, had every clique imaginable and for the most part, people stayed in these cliques. Sure, there were tangents between various cliques but everyone still had a strong core group of friends with whom they were associated. At the beginning of the reunion everyone gravitated (or showed up with) that core group of friends but very quickly, everyone started to interact with everyone else. If anyone did carry any emotional baggage into the reunion, it was checked at the door. People that probably never spoke in high school were talking as if they were friends forever. It was somewhat surreal.

I went into the reunion with a rule that I would not exchange phone numbers/email with anyone. After about an two hours that rule was quickly broken.


	"Everybody's coming back to take stock of their lives. You know what I say? Leave your livestock alone."

Now here's another interesting thing about reunions...I have to believe that it's rare to keep in touch with anyone you see again. Initially you may think you will, but it's just like when you graduated high school. You leave with the impression that you will keep in touch with a lot of people and then every year the numbers dwindle more and more. The fact is that the "I can't believe it's been ten years" conversations/friendships can only last so long and unless there is something else in common odds are it's not going to last long.

Bottom line...the reunion was fun and I had a LOT more fun than I ever expected to have. Although I exchanged numbers with people I doubt I will stay in touch with any of them. History just shows it won't happen. But who knows...it may be different now. It's not that I don't like them or they don't like me, it's just that time passes and a lot of the friendships that were created out of proximity no longer exist, at least not in the same way. If I do keep in touch with people or vice versa, that's great, but if I don't, it doesn't matter because the memories are still there.

San Dimas High School Football Rules!