jayble's stable | No Strings

No Strings

March 10, 2005


	J: You've gotten sex no strings? M: You haven't?

It's recently come to my attention that not everyone is familiar with the some of the rules regarding No Strings Hook-Ups. Sure, everyone knows what No Strings are but, apparently not everyone knows that there are certain times and situations where No Strings Hook-Ups are expected. In these situations, no one can get angry or upset if phone numbers aren't exchanged, rejected, and no contact is made in the future. I've decided to summarize the situations where No Strings is allowed and even expected:

By Request
My friend Jer reminded me of this scenario and really it's first and foremost. When someone requests No Strings then clearly it is acceptable but ONLY if there is history between the two (e.g. good friends, used to date). Always remember though that No Strings can't just be implied, it has to be clearly said, otherwise a person can easily deceive someone.

Leaving Parties
Anytime there is a party for someone that is leaving it gives people the right to have No Strings Hook Up. The party would mainly involve the following scenarios:

1.	A person is moving to another city (>50miles), state, country (please note, Moving Parties [e.g. moving across the street] do not count).
2.	A person is leaving their current job and you work with the person.
3.	End of school year bashes where everyone is leaving for the summer (or permanently).

Note though that No Strings is allowed only if you are the person who is leaving or you hook up with the person that is leaving for the main reason that you may never see the person again.


	Newman on New Year's: "I guess I can accept a little Jerry if it gets me a lot of Elaine"

New Year's Eve
Everyone looks forward to New Year's Eve, you know that. Everyone also knows about the midnight kiss involved during all New Year's Eve celebrations which sets expectations on everyone to meet someone by midnight. So with that in mind, it's another great night to hook up.

Stupid Cupid Anti Valentine's Day
If you are single, there is a good chance you are not a fan of Valentine's Day (guys and girls). In fact, if you are in a relationship there is a good chance you are not a fan of Valentine's Day (guys). True, I am gender-stereotyping in the preceding sentences but I've met very few girls that aren't really into Valentine's Day. So that being said, if you're at a Stupid (or Screw) Cupid Party then there is a better chance than normal of hooking up just because of the added pressure of a "romantic" (read: Hallmark) holiday.

Reunions
Anytime there is a reunion (high school, work, etc.) there is a better chance of hooking up because a lot of people will have a "what if" scenario running through their heads. Remember FAMILY REUNIONS ARE NO PLACE TO HOOK UP for obvious reasons. I mean c'mon, if you are considering hooking up at a family reunion, you may as well start dating livestock...sickos.


	McFly knew the dangers of time travel.

Travel
Any time when you are traveling someplace (for work or fun) or you meet someone who is traveling there is a good chance you're going to hook up because you will probably never see the person again. In case your wondering, "traveling to a bar" does not count unless the bar is hours away. Although, time travel does count in this scenario, but be careful not to alter the future, it may result in disastrous consequences worse than having to see the person.

Weddings
Weddings are the ideal spot for hooking up in general. Everyone is dressed up and looks better than they normally would. Emotions are running high because everyone is happy. There is lots of drinking and dancing. Really it is an ideal place.


	Nothing says disaster like Bruckheimer (with the exception of Joel Schumacher)

Bruckheimer (aka Apocalyptic) Situations
Lastly, because I think this goes without saying, in any a "World is Ending" situation, No Strings is understood. If the world does end then you're in the clear anyways. If it doesn't end, there should be no obligations on either party...I mean the world was ending for crying out loud.

So in the above situations emotions are running high or there are chances that you will never see the person again. As a result, no party should feel the need to exchange phone numbers or call the other person afterwards. The moment should be had and enjoyed for what it is and no one can blame the other person for not calling.

Some other things to note:

Hook-Up does not necessarily mean sex but it does not preclude sex either.

In the situations above, it's perfectly acceptable to try to contact the person or exchange numbers, it's just not mandatory, and if this doesn't happen, I want to reiterate that there can be no hard feelings.

Any time...hmmm, how I do I say this...the No Strings rule is void if medical situations occur that are the result of the Hook Up.

So in conclusion, if anyone ever contradicts the above or if you find yourself in a No Strings situation where the person doesn't know the rules, feel free to print out the card below or refer them to this article.