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| "The Lando System?" |
From: Jayble To: Rothschild Subject: RE: TomKat
R -
As I read your email I find myself wanting to kill myself. I'd be surprised if we are friends in
30 minutes, let alone 30 years.
Time has skewed your perspective of the Tom/Nicole relationship. The first time Affleck dated anyone,
everyone thought it was real, now whoever he dates is a joke. Same thing with TC...whomever he dates
going forward, no one will believe it. Also, people in general are so focused and concerned with
Hollywood and celebrities. Celebrities all put on fake personas to the public and this is just the
natural extension of that. I admit that their romance develop quite quickly but c'mon, if this was
staged, don't you think TC's advisors would say, "Um, Joel - don't you think this is kind of quick
because everyone else will think that?"
There is no way TomKat could ruin both of them for you. TC was a Scientology Pimp long before Holmes
and Klein ruined Holmes long before TC ever could.
Nicole Kidman, Julia Roberts, and Reese Witherspoon cannot carry movies. Ok, they each may have carried
one movie in their careers but by and large they are supporting roles. In fact, outside of their first
major movies (Dead Calm, Pretty Woman, Election, respectively) the three have done a lot of shit movies
(Stepford Wives, Ocean's 12, Sweet Home Alabama, to name a few).
I have a heterosexual crush on Orlando Bloom only because Orlando reminds of Lando and so I think of
Lando Calrissian.
Hey, I am worried about you. I hope you carry around economy size chap stick considering you kiss
Affleck's ass all the time. I think you're secretly hoping that Affleck will break up with Garner and
date you. These are Affleck's movies.
Surviving Christmas (2004), Jersey Girl (2004), Paycheck (2003), Gigli (2003), Daredevil (2003), The
Sum of All Fears (2002), Changing Lanes (2002), Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001), Daddy and Them
(2001), Pearl Harbor (2001), Bounce (2000), Reindeer Games (2000), Boiler Room (2000), Dogma (1999),
Forces of Nature (1999), 200 Cigarettes (1999), Shakespeare in Love (1998), Armageddon (1998), Phantoms
(1998), Good Will Hunting (1997), Chasing Amy (1997), Going All the Way (1997), Glory Daze (1996),
Mallrats (1995), Dazed and Confused (1993), School Ties (1992), The Dark End of the Street (1981)
With a resume like this, there is no way he could have been huge. He has had 3 movies (tops) where he
had reasonably sized roles and the movie has not been a shitstorm and in those movies, he's been part
of an ensemble cast. Affleck can't carry movies, not should he ever be allowed to. "Paycheck would
have been huge." Hahahahhaa, ahh, so somehow, if Ben didn't date JLo, the acting in Paycheck would have
been better, the plot would have made sense, and it would have been filmed with less slo-mo action shots?
My mistake, I should have known JLo was the reason that movie bombed. Paycheck sucked.
About your random thoughts...
Actually your first point is great. We should be working on this script instead of writing pointless
emails about TomKat. Good casting too. I also suggest two endings: a) Younger actress falls for
another young actor (or non actor) and regrets contract and b) younger actress actually ends up falling
for older actor. Based on screenings we'll pick which ending we go with. I also like your casting with
other possibilities being the girl from Gilmore Girls and Ethan Hawke as the older actor.
Your height-ist cracks discount any of your arguments dickhead.
Finally, the sex video would make all of this pointless conversation worth it. Even a solo sex video
with just Katie would be fine with me, actually preferable. And one final thought on TomKat, between
Chris Klein, Pacey, Dawson, and TC, you're telling me that TC is not the clear front runner in that
group? If so, you are clearly retarded.
J
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