jayble's stable | Chocolate Madness pt2

Chocolate Madness pt2

December 30, 2005


	Oh White People, you so crazy

Back in early June, I had the idea the first official Choco Madness cereal tournament. After several weeks, even months, I finally put spoon to mouth and started the first round of the Choco Madness tournament. If you thought that I sat around with all those boxes of cereal and never opened a box, then you'd be wrong. I cracked open a few of my favorite boxes (since early June when I first bought them) to enjoy for their sheer sugary benefits - when the pressure of the tournament would not tarnish their chocolaty taste. At the time I thought it was a good idea. Here is a little brain teaser for you: What is worse than buying 16 boxes of cereal? Answer: Buying eight more boxes of previously purchased cereals because the ones you opened to eat became stale as they stayed open for more than six months waiting for the first round of a stupid cereal tournament.

The second excursion to the grocery story did yield two benefits: two new cereals. I was never happy including generic cereals in the tournament. Nothing against generic, but I really think they are almost identical to the name brand, or at the very least, indistinguishable. So, in the original pairings I had Coco Roos (the Generic Cocoa Puffs) and Cocoa-Rageous (the Generic Cocoa Pebbles). I paired these two up with their name brand counterpart but I still felt bad about it - especially when I knew there was at least one chocolate cereal out there that I couldn't find (Cap'n Crunch Choco Donuts). Well, in this second trip I found two new entries: Kellogg Mini Swirls and ... <drum roll>...Peanut Butter Cookie Crisp. Yes, I knew you would be as excited as I was. It took me two days to re-write my BCS-Esque code but I did, and the new standings are below.

I am sitting at a dining table with 16 bowls, 16 spoons, a gallon of skim milk, one paper towel, and six glasses of water. It's dark, and I'm wearing sunglasses.

(#1) Count Chocula vs. (#16) Lilo & Stitch
Although this may seem like a pretty evenly matched battle, it really was not. Count Chocula is better in every single way. From it's balanced color-coordinated marshmallows down to the last drop of milk. It's hard to imagine that Lilo & Stitch made it to the tournament. Ironically, it probably would have been a better match up if I just picked a generic cereal in place of L&S.

(#8) Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch vs. (#9) Peanut Butter Toast Crunch
I had high expectations for the Captain; I am big fan of his regular cereal and all of his Crunch Berries variations. Unfortunately, the Captain got greedy. PB Cap'n Crunch is one of the worst peanut butter cereals I've ever had. Alternatively, my expectations for PB Toast Crunch were low and they were actually pretty good. It was a quick and easy upset.

(#5) Smorz vs. (#12) Chocolate Lucky Charms
I was looking forward to this match-up. First, I wasn't sure how CLC would taste. I am a big fan of regular Lucky Charms and didn't know if it could jump to the Chocolate League. I was wrong. Chocolate Lucky Charms is surprisingly good. After eating all these damn cereals I've noticed that the cereal part of CLC is different than that of other cereals; it's not sugar coated like the other cereal. Also, I tried not to let this affect me but I was predispositioned to not like Smorz since I think one of the greatest cereals ever created was Smore's Crunch; a far superior cereal. In any case, as I was eating my Lucky Charms all I could think about was the PR Meeting that must have happened at one point during the product development:
Ad Man 1: Let's use a black leprechaun!
Ad Man 2: No we can't do that.
Ad Man 1: Really?
Ad Man 2: Yes.
I know that exchange or some variation must have happened during the life cycle. I wish I could have been there. This is great, I didn't plan this at all, but we have another tournament where a #12 seed takes down the #5 seed.

(#4) Cocoa Puffs vs. (#13) Mini Swirlz Fudge Ripple
I thought that chocolate cereals were like Batman movies, there was no way to possible to make a bad one, or worst case it could only be so bad. Then along came Joel Schumacher who destroyed the Batman franchise. Similarly, along came Mini Swirlz Fudge Ripple and destroyed chocolate cereals. It tastes horrible. Cocoa Puffs easily walked into the 2nd round. I couldn't even bring myself to finish the box Fudge Ripple so I just threw it out.

(#2) Cocoa Pebbles vs. (#15) Peanut Butter Cookie Crisp
God bless Fred Flintstone. Cocoa Pebbles is a great cereal. It's not as good as its sister cereal, Fruity Pebbles, but still great. I didn't know what to expect from PB Cookie Crisp. I was pleasantly surprised. PBCC is a really good PB cereal and although it played well, in the end, it just couldn't keep up with Cocoa Pebbles. PBCC is somewhat unsightly too, it just looks really bland. Also, this is the first Peanut Butter vs. Chocolate match-up in the tournament.

(#7) Cookie Crisp vs. (#10) Oreo-Os
This was the single hardest decision in the tournament so far. It had been a long time since I had a bowl of Cookie Crisp and it still held up. I didn't know what to expect from Oreo-Os but after a bowl of each I still didn't have a winner. As it headed into overtime (a second bowl) I thought one might pull away. Alas, none did. In the second overtime, I let the cereal sit in milk for a while, and only then did a winner emerge. Oreo-Os won in one of the toughest battles I've ever seen. I don't know what else to say. A grueling battle making it an instant CSPN Classic (Cereal Sports Network).

(#3) Reese's Peanut Butter Puffs vs. (#14) Peanut Butter Bumpers
This was not fair. RPBP annihilated Peanut Butter Bumpers. Here's the thing about these environmental-conscious cereals, they are really good and definitely more healthy than their High-Sugar/High-Preservative big brothers but they just don't taste as peanut-buttery (or chocolaty). It's like drinking low-carb beer, sure Michelob Ultra tastes good if that's all your drinking, but the minute you have a real beer (and I'm not even talking Guinness - even Bud Light will do) you realize just that Ultra is bad. Same thing with cereals, if you only had PBP you would enjoy it, but a side-by-side taste test with RPBP and it was no contest.

(#6) Cocoa Krispies vs. (#11) Koala Crisp
Again, same situation here. Koala Crisp is great but it suffered from Low-Carb Beer problem. Maybe I should have an NIT where only the environment friendly cereals participate.

Well, there it is. The first round of the Choco Madness tournament is over. Who would have thought that there would be three upsets. The highest seed to advance was Chocolate Lucky Charms (#12) and the top 4 seeds all advanced.

Stay tuned for Round 2. I hope to complete it in under six months.

Round 1

Round 2

Semi-Finals

Finals

Semi-Finals

Round 2

Round 1

VS.

#16

#15

#10

#10

#12

#12

#14

#13

#11