jayble's stable | Myth #3: I Am Too Busy

Myth #3: I'm Too Busy

March 3, 2006


	"'Too busy?' This is a dog that's 'Too biz-zay!'"

Have you ever said, "I'm too busy" when trying to explain why you didn't do something? If you did, then congratulations, you (like me) are part of the 99% of people that also use that phrase. I've used that phrase so many times and I've probably heard it just as many times.

The weird thing is that people actually believe it. Seriously. People need to realize that it's never true and start taking responsibility for their actions.

Looking back, the times I've used that excuse, I knew it was not true, and even though I felt a little guilty using it, I never felt guilty enough to stop saying it. I was anything but busy. After thinking about it more, I couldn't come up with a single example when "I'm too busy" was a legitimate excuse, whether I said it or someone else said it to me. I rationalized this because whenever I had a legitimate excuse, I would specifically tell people that excuse. For example, let's say that I couldn't go to a party because either A) I got a flat tire and couldn't drive or B) I didn't feel like going. In the first situation, odds are I would say, "I'm sorry, I got a flat tire and could not find a way to your party" but in second, odds are I'd say, "I'm sorry I couldn't make, I got really busy." I think most people act the same way. In almost all situations where I was lazy and didn't care to do something I said, "I was too busy." It's not that I was too busy to go to the party, I just didn't feel like going.

The excuse is never true; The simple truth is that no one is really too busy. Yet lately it seems that people who actually believe this excuse are becoming more prevalent. These people need to realize that everyone has 24 hours in a day to spend however they wish and they need to take responsibility for their choices. People that believe they are too busy are using the excuse to absolve themselves from actually managing their time and facing their decisions. They need to understand that no one but themselves are responsible for what they do and don't do. Each person chooses to prioritize the things in their life: working, watching TV, working out, keeping in touch with friends, sleeping, etc. Everyone needs to accept that they choose how to spend their time. They cannot keep thinking that things are out of their control.

In all instances when "I'm too busy" is said, what is really meant is:

1. I'm Too Lazy


	Too busy or too lazy?

I would venture to say that 50% of the time people say "I'm too busy," it's because they are too lazy to actually do anything. The problem is that no one owns up to being lazy when it is a perfectly acceptable excuse. Everyone is lazy to a certain degree. No matter how active a person may be, they still need their down time and some people need more down time than others.

2. I didn't care to...

People also use the excuse when they just didn't want to do something. Again, there is nothing wrong with this excuse either. If my friend asks me if I want to go to see Oasis I may say, "I'm too busy." In reality, Oasis is the one of the worst bands to ever record an album. I hate the Gallagher brothers and I lose a little respect for anyone that does like them. But see, I couldn't say that to my friend. I also couldn't say, "Sorry I really don't care to go because I am not a fan of Oasis," because I despise them so much there would be no way to censor my words. Ironically I really like Ryan Adams' cover of Wonderwall.

3. I had something I wanted to do more


	"Sorry George, I'm too busy. Why? Uh. Um. Well, you see...here's the thing. I have to go Afghanistan for some peace stuff. George? George? Hello?"

Again, this is another excuse that "I'm too busy" replaces because you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings. I was talking to my friend New Dr. Pee-Pee (and yes there is an Original Dr. Pee-Pee) who was telling me how he told his mom that he was really busy right now so couldn't make it back home to visit on a weekend his sister was also going to be home. The real reason is that he wanted to do something else that weekend. How many mom's would understand that though? Not many.

4. My wife/girlfriend is crazy and I'd simply rather not go into specifics

I'm not married and I don't have a girlfriend so I will defer to Rothschild (who has both a wife and girlfriend): I think the "I was busy" excuse takes on a whole new life for married men. Basically, it serves as a proxy for any number of real reasons that we would never admit to, unless the truth was forced out of us by someone so skilled in torture techniques they make Jack Bauer look like Ned Flanders. Because, if you knew the real reason, we would endure endless hours of humiliation. For example, perhaps I couldn't make a party because my wife decided that was the perfect night to pick a fight about our relationship. Or maybe she just complained about the fact that we haven't spent enough quality time lately and demanded I go to dinner with her then watch "Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous." Or perhaps she simply suggested that the only way I was getting lucky was if I stayed home. The point is that actually acknowledging any of these thing would make us the butt of your jokes for weeks to come. And the "I was busy" excuse provides us an easy out without actually having to admit this stuff. So, we simply tell you we were busy and hope you assume that means we were getting busy.


	the truth

I should explain that every excuse is "legitimate" (except watching Cameron Diaz and Toni Collette play sisters who are the exact opposite of one another learn a lesson about life and love while they wear various shoes). Just because you may not agree with someone or make the same decision if in their shoes doesn't invalidate their choice. As a result people should be honest and not say they're too busy even though it is a perfect. No one can really refute it, and even if they could, almost no one would try. "Busy" is so subjective that you can't argue with someone who says they are "too busy" nor can anyone argue with you. But it's never true and it's very likely that almost no one believes a person that says they are "too busy."

I can think of only one time when it's okay to use the excuse and that's if you are trying to not hurt someone's feelings, but even then, I think the person would appreciate the honesty more. If you are using the excuse so you don't hurt someone's feelings, by all means continue do so but realize that honesty may be a better approach. If you are using it to prevent your own embarrassment or as an excuse for laziness, then don't bother because you are not fooling anyone and most people would not care if they heard the real reason. And if you really think you are too busy, then wake up and start to take responsibility...unless you are too busy to even do that.