jayble's stable | Hollywood Fake Love pt1

Hollywood Fake Love pt1

May 19, 2006

Below is an email conversation I had with my friend, Venice, which turned into a conversation about Hollywood and fake love. All names have been changed to protect the less guilty.

From: Jayble; To: Venice; Subject: holy crap
Who is Lisa on your myspace? That girl is smoking.


	I wish I knew this girl

From: Venice; To: Jayble; Subject: Re: holy crap- response
ha, that's good stuff. i just reviewed her pics before responding to this email.

lisa i met through zack at a show, about 6 months ago. i think they had a fling or something, somebody got dumped (you can imagine which one) and they don't talk to each other, but i do. i actually have a crush on her italian friend, kelly.

it figures. not that i'm ashamed, but i never seem to see eye to eye with guys about who's the cutest girl and why. i was just looking at pictures of thora birch this morning (don't know... i just was) and was, like, totally enraptured with her (pics from at least 3 years ago... i haven't seen her in anything new since ghost world). anyway, i was thinking- guys just never took to thora. she had some admirers, sure, but her window came and went as far as hot-star icon. it was weird because as i looked at her pictures i thought "this might be the one celebrity i really would want to kiss for a long time, not just boink." i'm paraphrasing, of course.

i think many would agree with you on lisa. heck, i agree with you- it's not that i don't see her hotness (she reminds me a little too much of jessie, though)- i particularly like the boobage. kelly, though, that's the butterflies, ya know? you know. of course it's personal preference, but its weird feeling out of step sometimes.

they told me to call them the next time i'm in bayside. i've been there twice in the last two weeks and haven't called. it's like too much hotness to handle. it's like it'd be work. i think they'll party.

-venice


	Thora is hotter than I remember her to be.

From: Jayble; To: Venice; Subject: RE: holy crap- response x 2
Ha, nice reply. So I just reviewed pictures of Lisa again. Then I looked at pictures of her friend Kelly. Christ Venice, they are both smoking. They are both 19 though too so way too young (maturity wise) but still, god bless them both.

It's probably a good thing about not seeing eye to eye with other people on girls. In the case with Kelly though, no way in hell are you in the minority. Girls like Lisa and Kelly probably get hit on all the time. I definitely think Kelly falls into the upper echelon category of hotness, namely, a girl so hot that other girls even find her attractive. Lisa is probably not in that category only because there seems to be just a little too much make-up going on there...doesn't change the fact that I think she's smoking.

Anyway, you bring up an interesting point about Thora Birch. Did you read the 5...Things I Learned from Chuck Klosterman article I wrote a few weeks ago?

So my point is this, do you really think that you are more attracted to Thora Birch or you are more attracted to the type of character she plays which therefore makes you more attracted to her? I think if you never knew anything about Thora Birch and she walked into a bar along with another hot girl, there is a better chance you'd be attracted to her friend.

I think this same type of character displacement can be said for a lot of actors. Starting with John Cusack (Lloyd Dobler), I can think of a few more people without trying that hard: Adam Brody (Seth Cohen on the OC), Natalie Portman (her character in pretty much all her movies except the Star Wars ones), Zach Braff (Scrubs and Garden State), Meg Ryan circa 1990 (all of her romantic comedies).

All of these actors are somewhat typecast and play very similar roles in their movies. I think Natalie Portman is probably the best example. She's gorgeous but if she walked in with Jessica Alba, odds are I'm going after Alba. But knowing NP's characters (specifically in Beautiful Girls and Garden State and even Closer) totally changes that because in my head, I think NP is actually a composite of all the good and perfectly flawed parts of her characters, therefore knowing that, now I'm going after Portman.

Yes, those girls will party. In fact, next time I'm in LA we are definitely hanging out with them.


	Lloyd Dobler v2.0

From: Venice; To: Jayble; Subject: Re: holy crap- response x triplesec
J.,

Re: the Baysiders - called Lisa, sounded enthused but they were in Valley, said to call back in a bit. Felt smooth, invited. Did my job (45 mins.), called back - this time felt awkward - still in Valley, dot dot dot. Dead air. Me panicking. Lots of "uhs" and "heys!" Don't expect any call backs. Do expect to see them wasted at the next show, best buddies, etc. You better stop by.

Re: Seth Cohen, I can't follow The OC (not that I haven't watched) - it immediately fades from my memory. But checking out his online profile and pics, sure, I could see it.

Yes, I did read the Klosterman entry. Didn't pay it much mind, or, rather, agree with it entirely (tho I was entertained). Maybe now I do, a little.

It depends on how you measure your life - on more of a minute by minute scale or with an entire lifetime in mind. I think having ridiculously high standards can be a pretty fun and nerve racking lifestyle - and you can grab some make-believe love, but only on a minute-by-minute basis. You're generally right - ultimately reality intrudes, and we realize this Person ain't who we thought or hoped - they are simply who they are. I suppose this is when people get dumped, people get bored, annoyed, give up...

Some of my favorite moments dating girls are when I first meet them and mentally compile their cool attributes. They are rarely even in the room with me as I do this.

I suppose that Hollywood (with all it's billions invested in advertising) has set the bar pretty high - of course it's pervasive, globally. But, I also think that the folks behind the scenes setting such expectations do not come from outer space - they are from any city or town in America (or Europe, or wherever) and they injected these ideas into the public consciousness. They are us, is what I'm saying. Dormant or active, it's already there.

Maybe for this reason I, too, subscribe to fake love, and I have high hopes that it can last for more than a few moments, or days... My inability to find real love of such a caliber has not proven to me its lack of existence. And "hard work" will co-exist with make-believe love, I predict - those are the parts of the movie they edit out.

On such a note: "The Holy Moment" in "Waking Life" (which I predict you do not like, or won't) nails it. Perfection is available in all of us and all around us, when we allow it to surface. So maybe the quest for make-believe love is entirely valid - the twist is that we're not searching for someone else to be perfect for us, we're trying to grow into someone who can appreciate the perfection already being offered. This may take time, mistakes, and heart-ache. And never giving up.

Additionally: Everything about Thora Birch you stated - true. I have no interest in meeting her anymore, just whom her characters have grown up to be in their own imaginary worlds. It'll be tough, but I think I can find them.

-M.

From: Jayble; To: Venice; Subject: Re: holy crap- response x triplesec
V -

Sorry I didn't respond sooner.

I love this line: "Don't expect any call backs. Do expect to see them wasted at the next show, best buddies, etc. You better stop by." Somehow you easily manage to convey this exact scenario with just a few words. This situation is so universal. Did you ever end up hanging out with them?

Now...high standards. I don't necessarily think of it as high standards but I do agree that when "reality" sets in is ultimately when the relationship starts to fade. I don't necessarily know if Hollywood is the cause of it, but I do think it has a large part to play. I think people get tired of trying in a relationship and others don't try at all. Ironically, as much as I think Hollywood has instilled this notion of fake love, I am now going to reference a Hollywood movie (one with John Cusack no less): High Fidelity.


	I'm tired of the fantasy, because it doesn't really exist. And there are never really any surprises, and it never really...delivers. And I'm tired of it. And I'm tired of everything else for that matter. But I don't ever seem to get tired of you, so...

I think High Fidelity is the best movie about relationships. Cusack plays the everyman (Rob). His girlfriend (Laura), while cute, is by no means hot. At the end of the movie, a large part of me wanted him to hang out with the girl from the Reader (Caroline), even though I knew I'd be a little disappointed if he did. But imagine the same movie, with those two actresses switching roles. It would be less likely that you'd root for Laura solely because she's not as attractive as Caroline. I think most people ultimately get to this stage with their own Carolines and unfortunately reach the opposite decision about their relationships. In reality, Rob would have continued to make the mix tape for Caroline and at the point where he saw a relationship were possible, he'd end it with Laura. If he didn't see a relationship possible, he'd continue with Laura until the next Caroline, and another Caroline would almost certainly pop-up. I like HF a lot because it doesn't edit-out the hard work involved or the possible decision points in them.

I never thought about your statement regarding the *people* in Hollywood yet at the same time, I disagree with it and it comes down to advertising. People don't want to see rejection and dejection at the end of movies. That's why there are pre-screenings and re-writes, and when there is a less than happy ending, it's usually in a indie movie which are not seen by wide audiences. Look at a shitty movie like Cast Away. In the end Tom Hanks goes and presumably hooks up with the ironworking artist. Was this necessary? IMO No, but Spielberg or someone decided that he need to move on and to show it on screen.

Anyways. But yes, I like what you said about perfection. I do agree that that we are all hoping to somehow grow to appreciate what is offered...but sometimes I think that most people, me included, want that to happen with the least growth possible. I've only dated one girl in the last 6 or 7 years who displayed traits that really bothered me in other girls, but with one, it made her that much more attractive to me. I can't explain it and it's unfortunate that relationship didn't last, but now that I remember what that feeling was like, I need/want to feel that way again. Does that make sense?

I haven't seen Waking Life, but this is now #1 on my rental list. By the time you reply, I should have seen it.

If you do find your real life Thora, let me know, cause I'm sure she hangs out with the real life Natalie Portman.

JM

To Be Continued...