jayble's stable | The Art of Standing

The Art of Standing

June 2, 2006


	Fact: 3 out of 5 people do not know how to stand still. My guess is it's the three in the middle.

Back in 2004, I wrote an article about the The Art of Walking. I went through a list of the most annoying walkers that roam the streets. What I've come to realize in the last two years is that there are just as many people that do not know how to stand still as there are people who do not know how to walk. At first glance, it seems that standing still is an easy concept, and you are right to think that. Standing still is easy, yet there are so many ignorant and dumb people that standing is as complicated to them as rocket science is to us (assuming you are not a rocket scientist).

Anyways, I couldn't really categorize the people (other than the umbrella category "morons") so I decided to comment on the most common areas where people do not know how to stand still.

Intersection
There are so many times where I am approaching an intersection and the light is about to change so that I have the right-of-way and a person walking in the perpendicular direction stops right in front of me. Yes, their signal is changing from the white-walker to the red-hand but they still should stand in the middle of oncoming pedestrian traffic. If you live in a big city you need to get used to this because it happens all the time.


	No matter how cool the lights are above the O'Hare walkway, it doesn't mean you can't continue to walk.

Escalators and Moving Walkways
Despite popular belief, escalators and moving walkways are not meant to replace a person's legs. If you get on one, there is no reason you should not continue climbing or walking. Also, just because you are lazy, it does not mean that other people are also lazy. Anytime you get on a two-lane walkway/escalator, you should ALWAYS allow room for someone to pass you. I cannot stress this enough. If you get on with another person, don't block the 2nd lane, both of you should stand on the right side (left side if in the United Kingdom).

Elevators
If you are the first person in an elevator, walk to the back. If you think the elevator will stop on the floor where you need to get off first, stay in the front but move to the side. It's that simple yet people tend to make it so complicated. I don't even know what else to add. Oh wait, I've thought of something...actually, this deserves it's own section...


	"And it's like I'm supposed to be all happy 'cause she's wearing a backpack, you know?"

The Backpack Phenomenon
So many people that wear backpacks never consider that they need to account for an extra foot of space on their backs. This is most annoying when in an elevator or congested area. It really is amazing that people do not realize that while wearing a backpack they can easily be inside a person's personal space if they are not careful.

Public Transportation
This is another area where so many people do not know what they are doing. Most residents in big cities with a mass rail system probably can relate. When a train finally comes to a stop, let others out before you try to get in. Trust me, the train is not going anywhere, you will have plenty of time to get on the train. Once inside the train, if you need to stand by the doors, be cognizant that at the next stop people need to get off and on the train, don't block their path.

Public Restrooms
This is really meant for guys...if you are standing within arm's reach of a person at a urinal and not using it, then you are standing too close. Seriously. I'll even say that you should be standing about four feet (or more) away from the person. No one would ever complain that a restroom is not crowded enough. Have some consideration, give a person some space.

Work
I work in an office. A standard office straight from anything you've seen on TV (especially The Office). In the cubicle formation, one of the worst things is when people congregate around your cubicle or near it and proceed to chat as if they were in a conference room. My company has so many policies about everything else I really think they should write one about this just so I can use it as a basis to fire someone. I guess I should be granted the power to fire someone too, cause that would also help.

I'm sure there are more situations where people do not know how or where to stand, but I think in almost every situation the main problem with these people is their lack of awareness. If these people that didn't know how to stand still were simply more aware of their surroundings, the world would be a much happier place. I have no solution for any of these situations other than yelling at the person. Until people learn how to stand (and walk for that matter) you'll just have to live with it but know that you are not alone.