I remember when I first heard of you back in grade school. I didn't know much about you but all my friends
were talking about you and most of them were interested. It wasn't until college and I learned more about
you that you piqued my curiousity. When the grunge era kicked in, no one could get enough of you. You were
courted by Corgan, Cobain, Vedder, and Kiedes, among others.
Sadly, then (mid 90s) and for the next 10 years, I heard a lot of different things about you. I
didn't know what to believe so I just stayed away. By the time I graduated college in 1998, you were a mere
shell of your former self. Perry Farrell dumped you and you just seemed like a washed-up celebrity trying
to get that extra 16th minute of fame. While I didn't give up on you - I definitely didn't entertain any
notions of us getting together.
"Reunited and it feels so good..."
Then something funny happened. You and Farrell reunited in 2003. You both grew up and matured a bit, but
not too much. Though it wasn't the same relationship as before, I was surprised at how rapidly my youthful
interest was awoken. Like the Roosevelts, your business relationship started out slow but the decade+ of
experience gave you the patience to keep going.
Then, in 2005, after almost 15 years of our little dance, we met. I look back on that
July weekend and I remember everything about it.
The whirlwind 48 hours flew by. That
one weekend started what would be something beautiful. You introduced me to
so many new bands and I realized that the 15 year wait was well worth it.
The next year I was looking forward to seeing you more than ever. An extra day of music, more
great bands, and hopefully the weather would have been better.
That year flew by just as fast
and while it wasn't as much fun as the year before, I still had a great time. The Saturday of that
year had one of the best concert lineups I've ever seen and I rated every band I saw that day with an A.
"I'm home. All the time, it was...wait, my mistake."
I thought 2007 would be similar to the last two years. I got the presale tickets and anxiously awaited
the lineup. I was hoping for Smashing Pumpkins since they are a Chicago band and were reuniting this year.
But then something strange happened...the lineup was announced and I just wasn't that excited. Furthermore
none of my friends were that excited either. Sure there were some bands I was interested in seeing, but I
didn't know how many would translate to an outdoor venue, a lesson I learned from the Shins last year.
Mathematically though, even if I only saw six bands over three days, I'd still only be pay $10 per band - a
great deal. But the more I thought about it, I would be paying much more because I could sell my tickets
for a huge profit. I didn't know what to do. We had a great two years but now the upside to not being tied
down coupled with my decreasing interest were tough to ignore. Additionally, the thought of trudging through
so much terrain and so many people was overwhelming. You were just getting much bigger and much too fast
to really fully enjoy. Now do you see my dilemma?
Weight gain: the downfall of a lot of relationships
I'm sorry Lollapalooza, but after 2 years, I find myself breaking up with you for the same reasons I break up
with most girls: You couldn't hold my interest and you got fat. I guess this lack of interest/excitement
happens with all relationships. We only saw each other once a year and that is not enough to sustain a relationship
no matter how much you enjoy that weekend. Plus you just got too big. Other people may enjoy seeing 200 bands
with 165 thousand fans, but not me. Two years ago, walking from one stage to another didn't mean missing a good portion
of the setlist. Now it does. I was hoping that maybe I could put you on a program and you'd thin out a little,
you know, maybe cut the number of bands or available tickets, maybe make the tickets even more expensive so limit
attendance. I should have known better. Having many married friends has taught me one thing: You cannot put
girls on a program to lose weight - they have to do it themselves or you have to get used to the additional cushion.
It's been a great two years Lolla and I don't regret any of our time together. I know I learned a lot from you
and I hope you feel the same. You shouldn't feel bad either - 2 years is much longer than I spent with a lot of girls
and who knows Lolla, this may not be a permanent break. Maybe we'll reconnect in 2008.
