Werewolves Of London (And Dublin)

August 27, 2008

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	London Calling

I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand walkin through the streets of Soho in the rain. He was lookin for the place called Lee Ho Fooks, gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein.
Well, I am now back from the second overseas Mancation. This time there were four of us (Me, Navdeep, Brad, and Dave) and we hit up London and Dublin. Similar to Mancation 2003 (Greece), Mancation 2008 lived up to expectations - even with the harpy known as exchange rates.

Ya hear him howlin around your kitchen door, ya better not let him in. Little old lady got mutilated late last night, werewolves of London again.

8/8 Day 1:	Arrive London, lose Navdeep, find Dave, find Navdeep, Pirates, hen party, Tiger Tiger, Mind the Gap	The only four people in London wearing shorts
8/9 Day 2:	Tour London, hooray it's raining, Big Ben, 10 days not 10 years, fedora, cantaloupe, Trafic: The Liar's Club of London, Dave please untuck your shirt, we're industry
8/10 Day 3:	Buckingham Palace, Londoners lover PDA, London pubs: full of bland food, Tower bridge, City Hall, awesome rain, cucumber, Massalla Hut screwed us!
8/11 Day 4:	Arrive Dublin, longest Customs line ever, best hotel ever, Porterhouse, it's a chain but I love it, only the 4 of us could become friends with 3 girls from America, Dublin cover bands, Oh good, it's raining
8/12 Day 5:	Mmm Guinness tour, the Perfect Pint, Temple Bar, bad pizza, Suns down, guns down, Citi - worst club ever, great face, bad body, random Irish girls at 2am, pyramid, nothing good happens past 2am	Mmm Beer
8/13 Day 6:	Trinity college, St. Stephen's Green, Irish museum, North of the river, longest bus to the airport, Goodbye Dublin, Hello London, 4 guys at Jamie's
8/14 Day 7:	The Matt Hart Gallery, Stonehendge, sick at night, the others hit the Ripper tour
8/15 Day 8:	OMG, it's not raining in London, London Eye, Dali, Trafalgar Square, New Scotland Yard, Outdoor bar, Dance Off!
8/16 Day 9:	Marble Arch, Hyde Park, Tim Burton tree, Royal Albert Hall, British museum, Rosetta Stone, Parthenon, Eugene!, barracuda

He's the hairy, hairy gent, who ran amok in Kent. Lately he's been overheard in Mayfair. You better stay away from him, he'll rip your lungs out Jim. Huh, I'd like to meet his tailor.
Below is a list of some of the memorable quotes from the trip. Some other great quotes that everyone said at one point or another: "She's a Cappucinno," "She's a Glinka," and "Welcome to the conversation." Also, I don't think words can do justice to our bus to the Ireland airport on our way back to London. The four of us get on the local bus instead of the express. While sitting on the second deck, two kids get progressively louder - so much so that Navdeep starts making fun of them within earshot. Finally, Brad can't take it anymore and he storms to the lower level. Five minutes later, Navdeep and I join him. Once downstairs, the three of us start making fun of the kids and how annoying they were. Finally, when we arrive at the airport, we realize that the kids' mother is sitting right behind the three of us.

Anyway. Onto the quotes...

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#1	Tube Announcement	"Mind the gap."	10 days not 10 years
#2	Jay	"We plan to be here for ten days, not ten years." Reference: Bad Idea Jeans. That is all I can say about this.
#3	Alice/Steph	"What's a Dirty Sanchez?"
#4	Navdeep	"I speak Italian....Cappuccino!"
	Dave	"Right and I speak Spanish....Taco, Burrito."
#5	Jay	"This coke tastes funny."
	Dave	"It is flat."
	Jay	"Everything here is disturbingly flat."
	Dave	"Everything but the chests."
#6	Navdeep	"Yeah right now a group of girls is looking at us and asking, "OK, who's taking the grenade with the backpack?"	Pumas suck for 12+ hours straight
#7	Jay	"Brad, you okay?"
	Brad	"Yep....but their bathroom isn't"
#8	Jay	"You know Matt Hart? We were at his place for the 4th?"
	Dave	"Oh, bald guy, stupid hats?"
#9	Jamie	"You guys are a mess." Reference: After taking 4 calls and an hour to find her place two train stations over...thanks to D.A.R.Y.L.
#10	Jay	"It cost us ten pounds to call you."
	Jamie	"You could have just taken a cab to see me for that."
#11	Navdeep	"Ireland is like the shire."	"Oh Jamie."
#12	Gatwick Security Guard	"Welcome to airport security. Now please take off your shoes. Next, it may be your shirts or pants. The rules are always changing..."
#13	Gatwick Announcment	"Unattended luggage may be destroyed."
#14	Dave	"This is stiff and nice." Reference: Jay's new passport...seriously.
#15	Dave	"Where would you go out in Dublin?"
	Waitress	"Me? I would go home, roll a fat joint, and watch Simpsons and Family Guy."
	Jay	"Will you marry me?"
#16	Katie	"Well you're [Jay] just a little shit aren't you?"	World Biggest Online Raised Eyebrow Battle
	Jay	"Yeah. Pretty much."
#17	Lindsay	"I only know one phrase in French and it's 'will you sleep with me?' And I thought that was probably a bad idea. I also only know one Irish phrase, and it's 'kiss my ass.' Also, a bad idea."
#18	Lindsay	"Kristen has a boyfriend back home, but she is waiting for an Irish guy to call. I wouldn't go around on my boyfriend like a whore."
	Kristen	"I think you just called me a whore."
#19	Strip Club Bouncer	"Tomorrow is another day lads." Reference: Brad and Navdeep going to a strip club as it was closing on a Monday night.
#20	Jay	"Brad, you had better be a new man when we get back to Chicago. You should start every night with a Delirium."
#21	Navdeep	"I am ready to go to Temple Bar." (at 1:30 pm)	3am Grafton Street
#22	Dublin Cabbie	"Life is tough; otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation. Instead of driving this cab, I would be at the Shelbourne with three Russian prostitutes ready to sit on my face... Well, maybe just two."
#23	Dublin Cabbie	"Don't tell me this is the guy you're waiting for? This plank? [To Brad] Ever think about taking up a hobby? Like maybe sprinting?"
#24	Navdeep	"Where are the easy girls?"
	Dublin Cabbie	"In the brothels. It's not rocket science."
#25	Navdeep	"Time to put the guns away immediately." Reference: Navdeep being stalked by an Indian Grenade.
#26	Jay	"We're going to 2 Moore Court."	London Eye
	Night attendant	"All of you?" Reference: Jamie's place is small for five people.
	Jay	"We're going to see Jamie."
	Night attendant	"Oh Jamie." (and allows us to proceed)
#27	Jamie	"I'm just giving you shit Dave."
#28	Dave	"It is really hot in here."
	Navdeep	"You should turn on your fans."
	Dave	"What fans?"
	Navdeep	"Your CPU fans."
#29	Navdeep	"So I woke up at 7:30, realized my tube pass didn't work til 9:30, went back to sleep, woke up at 9:30, took off." Reference: Censored
#30	Navdeep	"Planning to do something, overcast and rainy. Hungover in the hotel room, sunny and nice."	"Charles, is this a dance off?"
#31	Brad	"Fuck it. We're only in London once, and I'm never coming back." Reference: About paying an extra ten pounds a piece for the fast track line for the London Eye.
#32	Dave	"I think I'm making the directions more complicated than they need to be."
	Navdeep	"Oh D.A.R.Y.L."
#33	Navdeep	"It's starting to smell like four guys in this room."
	Dave	"I just farted."
#34	Dave	"Here comes the whore train."
	Jay/Navdeep	"Yes, Yes, No, No, Yes, No, No, Maybe."
#35	Jay	"Jesus, I drink beers the same way I go after girls. I look for a long term relationship instead of the one night stand." Reference: Jay drinking his beers slowly instead of pounding or even at a normal pace.
#36	Eugene	"A 'Pirate' is when you cum in a girl's eye and kick her in the shin... and she says "Arg" while covering her eye and hopping around on one leg."	7+ years and the love is still there!
#37	Ellie(?)	"Do you guys know the barricuda?"
	Jay	"I believe that's the motorboat sweetheart."
#38	Jay	"I'm hitting the head." (about every 15 minutes)
#39	Everyone (but Dave)	"Where did D.A.R.Y.L. go now?" Reference: Dave = D.A.R.Y.L.

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Well, I saw Lon Chaney walkin with the queen, doing the werewolves of London. I saw Lon Chaney Jr. walkin with the queen, doin the werewolves of London I saw a werewolf drinkin a pina colada at Trader Vic's And his hair was perfect.
Some lessons I learned....

• There is no premium on an American accent.
• When going to London/Dublin - do not bother packing shorts.
• Pack in layers.
• Never underestimate the importance of free food from the concierge executive lounge. (Thank you Dave!!!)
• Be ready to get bitch-slapped by exchange rates - no matter much you mentally prepare for it.
• Flirting is difficult when you have to repeat everything.
• Flirting is even more difficult when you have better teeth than 90% of the population.
• St. Charles builds lifelong friendships!
• Pack some vitamins/cold medicine/tylenol.

Ahhhooooo, werewolves of London
The three best pictures I've ever taken in my life...that did not feature my teeth:


Draw blood
All in all, another great Mancation. London and Dublin were both awesome cities, and surprisingly both were small. London is huge, but their transportation system puts Chicago's to shame. That being said, it is hot as hell on the tube. Countless times I'd be in layers above ground and have to go down to a t-shirt once I was in the underground. Four people on the mancation was perfect. The first six days we had two rooms for all four of us (which was great) and even when it was four of us in one room it wasn't bad at all.

Even though this trip was similar to Greece in the sense that we didn't plan anything, in hindsight, I wish I would have planned a little and picked a few places to see in London and Dublin. I did see quite a bit, but we probably missed a lot too. But, when I remember Greece, I remember the funny stories much more than the sites. That is what I will remember about London and Dublin as well.

Always remember...mind the gap.

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